manualforvirgins

VIRGIN INSTRUCTION GUIDE

Welcome to the Madras Hash House Harriers !

We've developed this manual to provide an intro to new members and to let you know a little about us.This is the result of numerous hours of copyright violations, plagiarism and thought-provoking drunken ramblings. With the legal stuff out of the way, peruse, enjoy and ON ON.

What is Hashing ?

Hashing is a semi-athletic / drinking / social club based on the old English schoolboy's game of "Hare and Hounds". It is centered around running and is a non-competitive ( sort of like your sex life ) form of exercise with the unique aspect of allowing the opportunity to vent frustration (running), provide entertainment (drinking beer), release energy (running) and socialize with others (drinking beer). Running is loosely used to mean running, jogging, walking or any other means of conveyance, short of mechanical methods and is usually secondary to the social aspect of hashing. Every Hash and every Hasher is unique in their own way, a good attitude, personality, thirst, humor and a sharp wit are important attributes. We are a Drinking Club with a Running Problem and so if you have half a mind to join us that's all you need.

History

The Hash House Harriers received its humble beginnings in 1938 from a Britisher named Albert Stephen Ignatius Gispert, in Malaysia. Having a fondness for the game, "Hare and Hounds", he gathered together a group of friends to form a running club in Kuala Lumpur that would later become a world-wide legacy. The fraternity received its name from the Selangor Club Chambers, which due to the lackluster food served there was commonly referred to as the "Hash House".

This peaceful endeavor was eventually cut short with the advent of the Japanese invasion of Malaysia, of which several hashers distinguished themselves. Captain Gispert died in the Battle of Singapore, but a fellow Hasher, Torch Bennett, re-established the hash after the war. He also successfully sought war reparations for 24 enamel mugs, a galvanized tin bath and two old bags.

In 1947 a few surviving members of the original Hash House Harriers started operations across the border in Bordighera, Italy, but ceased for several years. It wasn't until 1962 that the next group was formed in Singapore. The Singapore H3 was slowly followed by others until by the Mother Hash's 1500th postwar run in 1973, there were thirty-five known hashes around the world. This figure climbed into the hundreds by the eighties and there are now probably well over five thousand active Hashes. 

Hashing Only Rule

There are no rules !

What Happens at a Hash ?

The Madras/Chennai area H3's get together on Sunday late afternoons for a run ( check the Website for details on dates and times or email the Hash to be put on the mailing list), always in a different place to avoid monotony. The Hare will set a trail for the pack (the rest of the Hashers) to follow. Several different methods may be used to lay the trail, the most common being with flour and chalk. Some Hashes use other methods for laying the trail. If it is a Live Hare Run, the Hare is traditionally given a 12-15 minute head-start before the pack starts after. The Hare uses various marks to indicate direction and deviously tries to outwit the pack. The packs purpose is to; catch the Live Hare, if possible, avoid getting lost and continue onward to the next check. Eventually everyone makes it to the On-In where running takes a backseat to socialising. The Hare gets cursed, Hashers with Hash-crimes from the trail get pulled up, beer (soft drinks and water) gets consumed and songs are sung. The On-On-On is another chance to get together after the run, until we've eaten and drunk enough.

Is Hashing for Me ?

A definition from the China H3 (Taiwan):

"A Hasher is the protector on earth of a half dozen bottles of beer. Hashers have the energy of a tortoise, only half a mind, the sincerity of a born liar and the sexual ambition of rabbits. They like to spend their money on beer and the rest foolishly. It has been said that you can lock a Hasher out of your house, but not out of your liquor cabinet or jacuzzi." Reprinted without permission.

The object is to have as much fun as possible without getting arrested or killed. Remember when we were kids, all of us ran. We ran in the playground, in the halls at school, at home, in the grocery store and everywhere else we went...and we loved every minute of it. Watch kids sometime and see the smiles on their faces when they're running around. As adults, running has become something different, the fun part seems to have gone away and running is sometimes something we have to do, either to stay or get back into shape. Hashing puts the fun back into running. It takes us to places we've never been before; parks, mountains, the country. It puts us into situations where we socialize. In other words, it's the best damn fun you can have with your clothes on. Also, the health aspects can't be overlooked. The stress relief is phenomenal. Running is one of the very best aerobic exercises and it is written somewhere that 3 or 4 beers a day increases the average life-span (all Hashers live to be 120).

Where do Hashers Hash ?

Hashing takes place in the city and in the country. In malls, thru backyards, across highways, under highways, over hills, thru woods, trees, bushes, shrubs, thru culverts, across streams, briars, thru swamps, over rocks, over fields, construction sites, parking lots, abandoned buildings, sidewalks, roads ( paved and unpaved ) and anywhere else the half-witted will follow the Hare. The more difficult the terrain, the better the Hash. Good trails usually involve a discussion with irate property owners, security guards and/or the local constabulary, however while some trails are full of poison oak filled hills, swamps and industrial wasteland by no means all are. It is quite possible to have a good trail set in the middle of a city. There are thriving hashes in cities such as Tokyo, London, New York and even San Francisco, where the vast majority of the runs are set on paved streets. They regularly set excellent runs which never veer from paved public property, however the Hashes in India have a lot more wild areas, so quite often our trails involve more adventurous terrain.

Hash Glossary

Are You ? Question yelled by Hashers to determine if you are on trail. You respond with "Checking", "On-On", "Looking" or "Lost". Alternately blow a whistle.

Back check (also called Check Back) A mark (Circle with a Dot in the middle) that tells the pack to back check on the trail they've been running. The Hash equivalent of Monopoly's tm , Go back three spaces.

Bad Trail or False Trail  Wrong way. Marked with an “X” or an “F”.  Go back to the last Check

Beer Check or Water Halt A special check with beer and water somewhere along the trail.

Beer Near A mark indicating that beer and the On-In is close by.

Chalk A white (sometimes colored) substance sometimes used to mark trails (see flour).

Check A mark made by the Hare in the shape of a circle “O”. At this mark it is necessary for the FRB's to spread out and find the trail. The trail could lead in any direction from a check.

Checking A Hasher who has reached a check and is looking for the trail. A response to "Are You?" assuming that is what you are doing.

Circle The time after the pack has finished the trail when miscreants, visitors, virgins and other deviants are punished with a down down. Usually run by the RA or the GM (or both).

DFL Dead Fucking Last, usually the opposite of the FRB, unless the FRB is in fact DFL.

Down Down A Hash tradition where a Hasher drinks a good portion of his/her favorite beverage. Once you start, you must finish the entire contents prior to removing the vessel from your lips. As the Hash saying goes, " What doesn't go in you, goes on you! " Inversion of the drinking vessel upon completion of the Down Down is absolutely necessary as proof of its accomplishment. The wearing of headgear, hats, caps, visors or other head based paraphernalia is expressly prohibited during a Down Down.

Flour A white substance sometimes used to mark trails (see chalk).

FRB Front Running Bastards. Overachieving Hashers who forget that Hashing is non- competitive. A good trail will confuse the FRBs so that they regularly end up being DFL and running past the rest of the pack two or three times.

GM Grand Master, usually the senior or most experienced Hasher. In some Hashes they sometimes take on an advisory role, while in others they provide leadership for the mismanagement. Usually complains about how Hashing has changed since the old days. Runs the Circle in conjunction with the RA. Female GM's are known as Grand Mistress or Grand Mattress.

Hare A Hasher who lays a trail for the pack to follow.

Hare Raiser "Encourages" Hashers to hare runs. Better known as the dumb sucker.

Hare's Arrow An arrow which indicates that you are definitely on trail. If you're a virgin, check with other Hashers as this mark varies from Hash to Hash.

Hare's High A euphoric state usually brought about as a result of the impending run, sometimes it is beer-induced. Symptoms include: skin rashes, shortness of breath, beady eyes, tunnel vision, horniness and erect nipples.

The Hash A collective group of misfits, miscreants, the morally bankrupt and criminally insane.

Hasher Male and female Hash members.

Harrier A Male hasher (usually)

Harriette A Female of the species.

Hash Marking Typically with flour or chalk.

Hash Cash The Hash embezzler, responsible for skimming money from the Hashers who turn up. Treasurer of the Hash.

Hash Hotline You'd do better to look at the web.

Hashit A special symbol of individual Hashes, sometimes a toilet seat, but could be most anything.

Hash Name Your parents had no ideal what they were doing when they named you. The Hash will fix that. A Hash Name is a fond nickname bestowed upon a Hasher after 3 runs, on special occasions or when the Hasher has done something so absurdly stupid that the Hash couldn't wait to name them. It is considered bad form to call a Hasher by another name whilst at the Hash. Of course if your parents gave you a really embarrassing name like Archibold or Cuthbert you might keep that as your hash name. * Note : Don't be too eager to get a Hash Name.

Hash Stash An extra bag or two of hash hidden in advance on the route of the trail so that the wise hare doesn't have to carry too much with him from the start. Much kudos (beer) is gained by SCBs who locate the Hash Stash before the hare gets there.

Hash Trash A Hash newsletter written by the Scribe. 

Homepage The local Hash Homepage is located at http://www.madrashash.com

Looking Call by a Hasher who hasn't seen a mark in some time and is looking for the trail. Another possible response to "Are You?"

Mismanagement The collective group of undesirables forced to mismanage the affairs of the Hash. They handle money, buy beer, recruit Hares, scribe newsletters and loosely organize the Hash to prevent chaos. If you believe you can do a better job and therefore complain about the pisspoor job being done by the current lot then you will be erected on to the mismanagement committee in order to put your money where you mouth is.

On In The end of the trail.

On On Shouted to encourage other hashers by indicating that you are on a true trail. Two short blasts of a whistle will also work. The usual response to "Are You?"

On On On After the trail is ran, beer gone and the half-witted only half-filled, it's time for the On On On. A place to continue the festivities, beer is a must.

On Sec The Hasher who keeps track of runs, etc. Usually the only person in the Hash who can either count or knows someone who can. Sometimes this name refers to the hare-raiser (just to be confusing).

Pack Arrow A half-arrow left by members of the pack, usually FRB's, to indicate where the pack has gone. This mark varies from Hash to Hash. It is not always accurate!

RA Religious Advisor, leads the Hash in various songs, punishes sinners during the circle, provides atmosphere and generally is a pain in the arse to everyone else.

SCB Short Cutting Bastards. Sneaky, devious Hashers who manage to find a shorter, but not always better route to the On In. Motivated by beer, susceptible to becoming lost and prone to trespassing. The goal of all SCB's is snaring the Hare, regardless of what they say. Quite often an SCB actually turns out to be an LCB (Long-cutting bastard) and turns up about an hour after everyone else.

Scribe Hasher responsible for publishing newsletters, etc. Usually the only literate Hasher in the Hash. The South Bay hashers all seem to have too much to do for anyone to last more than about 1 minute as Scribe.

Shiggy Trees, brush, briars, poison oak, poison ivy, poison sumac, obstacles, rivers, creeks, streams, mud, swamps, hills, valleys, and most things that are natural. Most hashers reckon a good trail should contain lots of shiggy.

Violation Also known as a Hash Crime. Anything that gets done on the trail, before the trail or after the trail that the Hash decides violates good/bad taste, moral/immoral sensibilities, lack of commonsense or exercises poor/sound judgment. The whim of the Hash determines whether or not a crime was committed. Cost: at least one Down Down.

Virgin You, if you're reading this. A first time Hasher.

Wanker Synonym for a Hasher. One who wanks.

Water Stop Same as a Beer Check, mostly for really hot days.

The material contained herein is considered questionable and unreliable at best.

On On.